What I Said "No" To This Month

Photo courtesy of Thomas Quine

I am increasingly fascinated by the extent to which we create our own hell.

We say “yes” way more than we should, both at work and at home.  We set unnecessarily high expectations for ourselves and become obsessed with meeting those when no one is looking for that much from us. Then we wonder why we’re miserable. *facepalm*

I talk about this with clients and I think about this a lot personally as well. I try to be very conscience of regularly asking myself, “Do I really HAVE to do that?” 

What are often labeled as “must do” items are actually “want to do” items. When we choose to make “wants” into “musts” (and yes, we do have that choice), we choose to be more stressed.  Why do this?
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During this time of year when stress is intense and it’s so easy to have especially high expectations for ourselves, I’ve challenged myself a lot on what I truly must do, and what I can say no to. Here are 10 things I’ve let go of.

I've let go of...

1. Writing a full newsletter (I’ll return to the complete version next month)
2. Doing all of the holiday decorating in our home that I see in my head (What we have up is lovely and it’s perfectly fine)
3. Having the kids make homemade crafts to act as gifts (Who am I kidding?)
4. Baking homemade treats to give as presents (Does anyone really want those extra calories?)
5. Making every special holiday networking event that was on the calendar (I’m doing plenty with networking…it’s okay)
6. Sending my business contacts holiday cards in December (A few New Year’s greetings will go out in January…that’s just fine)
7. Thoroughly, beautifully documenting my 2016 business plans (The handwritten sketch is enough)
8. Pursuing high-intensity, low-return work projects (I know darn well this always leads to trouble)
9. Organizing a caroling event for friends and family (I went to a Messiah sing-along instead)
10. Completing the comprehensive review of new product materials that I have (I can start that in January)

Now, we’re only half-way through the month, but I dare say that it’s been a good month. By letting go of these things, I was able to…

• Care directly and more fully for sick kiddos (I didn’t feel irritated by missing work time)
• Embrace the higher-value work activities with more presence and move those along further (I had more mental energy and time to make the most of these)
• Save money (Did I really need to spend more money on holiday decs and elaborate holiday cards?)
• Understand my priorities better (And feel distinct peace with that)

What about you?  What are you saying “No” to?  What have you identified as being at the point of “good enough?” What have you identified as not being legitimate “must do” items?
I hope that you’ll take a minute to add your thoughts below!
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Most importantly, I hope that you have distinct moments of calm and peace this month, and in the coming year as well.